INT.  HAIR SALON - DAY

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ZOE sits center stage in a salon chair with damp hair as a barber's cape is draped across her chest. Her hair stylist, DOMINIQUE, stands behind her. The mirror is directly in front of them on the fourth wall.

 

ZOE

Well I was thinking about dying it! Maybe like an autumn color. Like pumpkin...or squash? Gourd tones. Ugh I don't know Dominique! Help me! Everytime I come here I think I know what I want. I sit down, I look at myself in the mirror, and say, (Sincere.) “Zoe, girl, get it together. You came in here wanting bangs, so tell the man and get your bangs! ” then I get too scared. All I know is I want to look professional. Maybe I get a bob? Bobs are professional. (Confidently.) Yes, I’m a professional writer with a bob. (Imagining.) I have a bob, I’m write my feelings down in my journal, I wear chiffon, I smoke skinny cigarettes. I like that. I like feeling French! My mother had a bob. Oh God I don't want to look like my Mom. She’s the reason I get so nervous for stuff like this.When I was a little girl my mom would cut my hair over the sink. But one time, she turned on the light on to see my hair better and accidentally hit the disposer switch. I got so scared from the sound that and fell in, and lost part of my pinky finger. (Shows him the nub.) My hair got tangled up down there and we had to call the fire department. I smelled like onions for a really long time. It was horrible. But that was the old me. I’m not that scared little girl with all her hair down the drain anymore, I’m a professional woman who is getting a bob goddamnit! (Fained.) I'm getting a bob. I am getting a, I can't do it. Dominique, I just can’t. Please don’t lob it off yet. I’m not ready to let go ho-ho-ho. I’m sorry. I don’t like crying in public. It makes me nervous. I once cried on the train and some stranger offered me a tissue, but there was relish in it! I didn't know he had a hot dog! Wow, I'm sorry this is a lot for me. It's just, I don't know, sometimes I feel like everything is not going to be ok. Like… Here I am walking down the street having a lovely day until BAM! An AC falls from a window and kills me dead. I'm going to die young, I just know—and tragic too! Decapited in a hit and run, or I'll have sharks, everywhere, chasing me. I don't even know where to find lava, but it consumes me! I just have bad-bad luck. I tried to pet a rabbit's foot, for good luck, and it bit my other pinky clean off. (shows the other nub.) So now carrots freak me out... Maybe I should get a carrot-orange bob? OMG Dom Shut up! I just had a brilliant idea! Shave it. Shave it all. Yesssss. It'll be a clean start. Absolution. Buzz me Dom. Buzz me.